Recipe Corner: Mary Hughes Brings Us Some Much-Needed Levity
Gentle Readers, we can all agree that the past month or so has been stressful. Between the fear of contracting the Coronavirus and the possibly greater fear of the inconvenience of a large-scale quarantine, New Yorkers (and the rest of the country, of course) have been doomsday-prepping like champs and stockpiling plenty of non-perishable food staples.
Thankfully, Met chorus mezzo-soprano Mary Hughes has an irreverent antidote for the Coronavirus doldrums that fits neatly into your shelf-stable apocalypse meal-planning.
Have you ever heard of a Kitty Litter Cake?
No? Well…now you have, and as disgusting as it sounds (and, honestly, looks), the end result is delicious, and the ingredients are all things you can stock away in your bomb shelter with the 75 containers of Clorox Wipes you bought at Duane Reade.
Mary says this of her delicious scatological creation: “I made this with my 9-year-old and it was fun and we laughed, even though it is gross. I've made it for bake sales (people actually buy it), and it’s perfect if you need a quick dessert option.”
Name: Mary Kristine Hughes.
Hometown: Longmont, Colorado.
Years at the Met: I’m about to finish up my 14th season!
My favorite opera is: Falstaff or Madama Butterfly.
One of my most memorable experiences at the Met so far is: ONSTAGE: Being on stage with Ewa Podles when she sang Voce di donna in La Gioconda; OFFSTAGE: flying alone with my 5-month old to Japan for our last tour.
Other than opera, my favorite type of music is: Nueva Cancion from South America.
When I’m not at the Met, you can find me: Taking meeting minutes for the PTA.
The most outrageous thing I've ever cooked (or eaten) was: I’m not much of a cook, but I’m married to one, and he makes incredible chicken mole out of the pulverized, smoked skins of more than a dozen different types of chilis from the mountainous region of Puebla, Mexico.
The three things in my kitchen I can’t live without are: My Vita Mix, wooden spoons, and my favorite coffee cup.
Currently, my three go-to ingredients are: frozen mangos, fresh limes, and Alacran tequila.
If I had to choose, my “last meal” would be: Tacos al carbon with fresh salsa, and an ice-cold Coke out of bottle.
Kitty Litter Cake
Yes, we know what you’re thinking: ‘Wow. This looks like the cat box in a cat-horder’s basement.” And this would be an accurate observation. But just look at the ingredient list. All of that stuff is delicious!
Ingredients:
1 boxed yellow cake mix (any kind)
1 boxed spiced cake mix (something in-between white and chocolate)
1 box of instant vanilla pudding
1 package of golden oreos
Blue and green food coloring
1 small bag of Tootsie Rolls
Approximately 10 fun-size chocolate bars
Various chocolate-covered candies (I used dark chocolate caramels for variation.)
Plastic cat box and scooper for serving (NB: Obviously, use a NEW one, and wash well with soap and water.)
Instructions
Mary’s 9-year-old son Javier getting to work on the cakes!
1. Prepare the cakes per the instructions on the box.
2. While the cakes are baking, prepare the instant pudding and refrigerate.
Javier and Mary putting together their disconcertingly delicious tray of horrors.
3. After the cakes are finished and cooling, prepare the 'clumping' litter by putting the oreos through the food processor with several drops of green and blue food coloring and set aside. It should be a powdery, sandy consistency.
4. When the cakes are cooled, crumble up into a large mixing bowl and add the chilled vanilla pudding to form a pasty dough.
5. Spread the cake mixture along the bottom of the CLEAN litter pan, then sprinkle the clumping mixture over the top. Layer between the cake and clumping mixture as you would a lasagna. Toward the top layers, start adding molded chocolate that looks like, well, cat poop. It helps if the chocolate is slightly warm so that it can be shaped into little turds. (Yes, you read that right. Mary said “little turds”. See the picture for inspiration.)
(Editor’s Note: If you can not stomach the idea of serving a dessert in an actual kitty litter box, I think Mary would agree that a large casserole dish would work just as well. Bon appetit, friends!)